13. Me, myself and I

Or: Hello to the unknown and who are you?

Dark Passenger

Welcome unknown one, welcome to my world. How I hated that feeling that someone else was in my mind. I am not mental, I’m mentally healthy, but since I had to take medication for my health issue, I felt like I wasn’t myself. I felt on edge, in a constant state of being nervous and stressed. Was it something that I evoke the last time I was drawing? I really didn’t know that. The only thing I know was that I couldn’t stand all these feelings. I needed to distract myself again. Solution: drawing.

I named this drawing ‘Dark Passenger’ because I felt that I’m not myself. It has nothing to do with me being mad, it had to do with my medication. I will explain why I had to take medication. Not now, later.

This was a pretty rough time. It felt like something wanted to drag me out of my body and squeeze himself in. But there is only space for one. I felt that my character was changing, that the “Me” was fading. I hated that feeling, I hated myself.

It just felt really wrong and I thought I’m going mad. I had to cry a lot during that time because I didn’t know what was going on with me. The doctor said that this is normal when I have feelings like this. But I know that this wasn’t normal. Why? As I said, I will explain later. But not in this post. With my last drawing that I needed to do to get through this difficult time.

But after drawing I felt a bit better and tired. I went to bed, fell asleep right away and hoped that this hate against myself would be gone in the morning…



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