7. Confused of being me

Or: Why I am me and no one else

seventh-drawing-confusion
Confusion

The drawing shows my inner me after a few days without being able to draw. I really couldn’t draw, not even with forcing myself. My body wasn’t able to and I wasn’t either. My health at this time was simply not there, I felt uncomfortable with being me and my private life was a kind of a mess. My energy level wasn’t high enough to sit in front of the monitor and draw.

After starting the drawing I was confused of being me. Why this is happening to me? Why not to someone else? Why am I the one in the mirror? I think that all the things that happened during this time were confusing for me, I didn’t understand myself or my body.

The colours are dark in this drawing. Blue, black, purple and a hint of white. I felt that I lost myself again in all kind of thoughts and feelings. And I wanted to change that. Immediately.

No one else can change it, it’s only me who can do it. Me, myself and I. I like that saying because it’s true. You need to focus on yourself for a time and listen to your inner you. Important and necessary. You need to keep your soul alive and healthy as well.

I felt good after drawing, still a bit confused but better. I am me and no one else. It is good that I am me, the way I am is good, the way I do things is good, everything about me is good. If someone else would be me, would this one do exact the same things like me? Would the one laugh, talk, walk, decide, care, love etc. like me? I don’t want that someone else is me. I want to be myself.

Without being me I wouldn’t be able to be me. Scary thought, right?

 

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