Or: How to find inspiration in a desperate situation
Yearning, this is my second drawing with the graphic tablet. Quite colourful at first sight. I wasn’t sure what to do. This time I didn’t use a picture, this time I just used all the colours that I wanted and selected the option “to fluidise” again. I just started to “draw”. Well, it isn’t really drawing, is it? To me it is.
In this drawing I didn’t use white really much, I don’t know why. But a lot red, pink, black and blue. Even brown is in there. Maybe I wanted to see what’s really inside of me. All these feelings were inside. Red for passion/love, pink for the woman in me, black for all the sorrows and worries, blue for the sadness and brown? It could be a colour for the earth, I am a girl who is down to earth.
My private situation was desperate at this time. I didn’t feel very comfortable. To feel these feelings again while writing isn’t very nice but I think it is good to talk about it. Well not really about the private things, but about how I felt in this very moment. And this helps a bit.
I barely could find inspiration at this time. But I managed it somehow. Something was in my mind. That kept me going. I was pushing myself to do something creative. And I’m glad that I did. Otherwise I might have ended up in giving up art.
Yearning is a strong word. Indeed I was yearning for more in my life. More to come, more to explore, more to do, more excitement. I was sad after I finished the drawing. Finally I was able again to express myself and my art made me sad. But I think it was a step forward in finding myself.
My journey only just begun…